Anonymous asked: I have been dating this really amazing guy for 5 months. We are very into each other. I love every moment i have with him. Yet, I can't help but try 2 hold back my feelings for him. Feelings of love. Bcs in the beginning he admitted that he didn't know if he could fall in love with me, and doesn't know what it is, but he is trying 2 figure it out. His ex pushed him to love her, and he didn't like that. My family makes fun that we don't say I love you. I know its early to feel this way, but help.
He sounds like he has some baggage from that relationship and it could take him time to get through that, but I do think he knows you aren’t that girl. I think the reason he said that to you is because he was scared because of the insecurities that resulted from his previous relationship, but those will come down over time and after 5 months with you I’m sure that has changed. If you don’t feel comfortable telling him exactly how you feel, slowly drop hints through the way you talk to him and he’ll definitely be able to see the difference between you and his ex girlfriend. I hope this helps!!
Anonymous asked: (part 2) although i do have friends, it just isn't the same as having a bf. it makes me sad to think if i'm really that undesirable to men! :( i've never even had someone showing prominent interest in me. so my question is, is there something wrong with me? and how do i make myself more attractive to guys? i'm not into the whole flirting shenan though, i'm not interested in flings or anything like that, just a steady and serious relationship. thank you in advance and i hope you have a good day!
The way you feel is completely understandable, and its normal. Honestly, a lot of people your age and older haven’t had their first relationship yet so don’t feel like its unusual! There is honestly nothing wrong with you, I can guarantee you that. I don’t think you need to make yourself more attractive to guys, you seem to be being yourself, and thats what you need to keep doing. Guys like girls who are comfortable being themselves and are respectful of themselves. Its also so refreshing to hear that you want a steady and serious relationship - keep that mindset, don’t settle for anything less than that. Another tip - don’t look for love, it will come along. That may sound weird, but honestly, give it a shot. I hope what I’ve said here helps; remember to stay yourself and you’re gonna find a great guy!!
Anonymous asked: (part 1) hi derp! hope my question doesn't sound ridiculous but anyway, i'm 19 this year and i've never had a bf my entire life. it has never really bothered me until these past few months when i see A LOT of my friends (even unexpected ones) with a bf/gf. i kept convincing myself that it's childish to have these thoughts and to be so desperate for a bf but i can't help it, it hurts to see everyone having someone to lean on and talk to and be intimate with, i feel awfully lonely at times :(
I’ll answer this in the 2nd part of your question! :]
Anonymous asked: Dear Derp, I am not content with my body at all. I know people judge, and see me differently, and I've tried everything. I have. I just can't seem to find any 'inspiration' to help with my weight. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, I have wonderful friends, but some part of me isn't comfortable when I go out. What can I do?
Being bigger is not a bad thing, just some people see it negatively, which is dumb to put it simply. Rather than looking for complete inspiration in other people look to yourself, find what makes you comfortable and believe that being bigger than other people is really not a bad thing at all. No matter how anyone looks they’re always going to have people who judge them, but why let others’ control how you should feel about yourself, thats something that you can take completely into your own hands!
Anonymous asked: I was always the one in school to get picked last, the one who got picked on, the one nobody talked to. I feel like I don't fit in wherever I am, Even at work and around my closest friends. Sometimes I feel like they don't like me and fake it, but i know that they do its just me fighting acceptance and happiness because all I ever know is rejection and negativity. I feel as if nobody understands me. I hate feeling like this. I want to be normal.
You are normal, I promise! Everyone when they’re growing up develops insecurities about themselves, a lot of the time it can be about whether they are actually liked by their friends, and yours probably originate from how you have been treated in school. Know that they accept you and want to be with you because they are your friends and do enjoy spending time with you, friendships are based on mutual acceptance of 2 or more people and that those people enjoy spending time around one another, so they do like you! Also, they will be able to understand you and how you feel, just talk to them about it and if you’re wanting to talk to friends about problems you are having or something you need advice on don’t hesitate to, they’ll want to be there for you and will try and help as best as they can!
Sorry!
Hey everyone, I apologize for not being able to get back to you all as quick as I would have hoped. I’ve been pretty busy with work and just haven’t had the time to respond, I’m gonna catch back up with everyone as quickly as I can!!
Sorry again!!
Derp
Anonymous asked: Hi derp! I've have this best friend for a while now, he is a guy and I'm a girl, and for the longest time I thought this never mattered. But in the last few months he revealed he has feelings for me, and I told him I wasn't sure how I felt. Now he has a girlfriend and has completely forgotten about me, and I miss him so much. He never talks to me anymore at all. I've told him how I feel many times, and everytime he apologizes and says he wants to still be friends, but nothing changes.whatdoido?
Sadly that does happen when people go into relationships - its not that they’re replacing you, their focus just changes without them consciously thinking about it. Even though you have spoken to him a lot, just message him and arrange a time to hang out; it might be that setting concrete plans means you’ll see him more, or even just randomly give him a call. If things don’t change much just keep reinforcing how you feel, because I’m certain he won’t be doing it consciously. It might be due to him telling you he had feelings for you, and then you not being sure, and now he might feel that talking to you as much inappropriate because he is with his girlfriend now, but that isn’t something you should blame yourself for. Ask him about it; I hope you guys become close again!
Anonymous asked: hiOk so here is my problem I am a 21female virgin&single like to think i am the nicest person you can meet People have taken advantage of how nice iam that i've let go of the friends i used to have when i was in hs therefore idont have a social life now I am in college people only talk 2me because we are in the same class that is allNever had a REAL bf i think i am depressed ihate being alone icry at night I feel as if iwill never be good enoughMust ihave sex in order to keep a guy interested
Hi there, I’m sure you are a lovely girl, and I’m sorry to hear people have taken advantage of you in the past, it does tend to happen if you are one of those people who is nice to everyone - but don’t let that stop you from being who you are and nice to everyone. I would suggest asking people you talk to in class if they want to grab a coffee and you can get to know them. Making new friends at college can be daunting, but people aren’t as scary as you’d think and everyone is pretty easy to talk to. In regards to keeping a guy interested, the answer is a straight up no. If you feel pressured to do that then get away from that guy as fast as you can, because if he makes you feel that way then please stay away from him. Being a virgin at 21 really isn’t a bad thing at all. I’ve never had anyone who stayed a virgin until they’re married say they wish they had sex before they got married, but I’ve heard plenty of people who had sex before they got married regret it. Yeah everyone has a right to their own opinion on that, but I just wanted to throw that out there. I hope this helps!
Anonymous asked: ive been in a ldr for a 14 months now and i really do love him.i know he loves me but he never makes time for me and im always bailed on he makes plans to come visit me and cancels like the day before.i ask why and he says hes too "lazy" to drive or hes "busy" but honestly i do my best to make time for him and i always do he says hes to busy for skype and stuff and hes just not the same guy as when i met him.he was so kind and still is but hes changed drastically,i want this to work out.
I’m sorry that things seem to have changed between the two of you. If you want it to work out you are going to have to talk to him about this, because it’s unfair that he keeps cancelling on you. You guys should try and set a scheduled time each day/couple times a week to Skype each other, and see if that can will improve things! I really hope contact between the two of you improves and that you get to see each other soon!
Anonymous asked: i miss my ex boyfriend. & i have no way to contact him at the moment. but were really good friends. do you think i should just tell him how i feel? & let him know or just keep it all bottled up.... i just miss him... ALOT. its been like 4-5 months already...
I think it would be better if you told him how you felt, unless you believe it would make the relationship that you guys have right now worse and telling him would make you hurt more. You need to judge the situation and run different outcomes through your head because this could hurt you and him even more. But I do really hope things work out. Good luck!
